MARLENE DEE GRAY POTOURA
An entry in the Crocodile Prize
PNG Government Award for Short Stories
MAGGIE was the only one who knew about my Jekyll and Hyde problem. She recommended a doctor.
“Your brain is going bonkers Casse!” Maggie said for the hundredth time. “You need a medical check-up.
“You are losing your sanity, my dear friend. Your brain is going in reverse and playing tricks on you.
“Oh, and you need a man to keep you sane,” she suggested.
“Noooo, I don’t need a man, Maggie,” I exclaimed.
“Then your brain is truly reversing!” she yelled.
“Reversing? Are you kidding?”
“No, sister, something is definitely not right up there,” she declared, pointing to my head.
“Maggie, I might be jinxed or something,” I said, worried.
‘What!’ Maggie cried, her eyes popping out.
“Don’t ever believe in that crap. This is the twenty first century for goodness sake, Casse. I really confirm you are going bonkers and definitely need a medical doctor to scan your brain and set it on the right pace again.”
It was always very difficult to argue with someone like Maggie.
You couldn’t tell at first glance she was somebody not to be messed around with.
She is short and of very small build and has an hour glass figure. She has a soft sweet oval face with big almond-shaped eyes and a neatly shaped afro hairstyle.
Her looks are deceiving, because she is a straightforward woman who is strong and speaks her mind. Maggie even directs her over-demanding husband to leave the house budget in her care and concentrate on filling the bank account so she can handle home affairs.
I met Maggie, when I went to college to train as a teacher. The first time I saw her, I thought, ‘geez, she’s short’ (I am quite tall around 5 foot). But when she talked to me for the first time, I realised you can never tell anyone’s personality from their size or shape.
Her voice was strong and firm, but kind. A real school teacher’s voice.
We were roommates during our second year of college and in the last two years we couldn’t be separated. It was during this time that she found out about my ‘reversing brain’.
I kept having the same dream about floating out of my body and Maggie said my brain had reversed its normal course and had to be scanned and redirected.
Gracious me. Never heard of that medical condition.
But Maggie was persistent that she knew what my problem was.
She became my really close friend, more like family and kept the ‘reversing brain’ problem to herself. I really trusted and admired her; she was a really great sister.
“Casse, in our Melanesian culture you can call families your blood and all that, but I don’t really go along with it. Anyone can come into your life and win your heart and then you can be closer to them then your real family.”
“Like you and Adam?” I asked, joking.
“Goodness, Casse, Adam is my husband and at any time he can find another woman to love and forget me.
“I am talking about sisterhood friendship. For someone of your education sometimes you asked the stupidest questions,” she said bluntly.
That is Maggie. A matter of fact woman and you just take her words as they come. When people meet her for the first time they think she is a real bitch, but as one get to know her she has a golden caring heart.
I usually don’t say anything back when she starts her speeches and explanations because with Maggie one can never win.
Adam is lucky she is such a good wife. She can go on raving over trivial matters but I know he has seen the goodness in her like I did. He smiles and never takes it as offensive.
Maggie is also domesticated and her house is spic and span. She cooks delicious meals and is kind and civil to Adam’s boss and his wife, with their undisciplined eleven-year old twins.
“Goodness, I don’t know why people have children if they cannot make them polite!” she once complained to me, rolling her eyes.
“What happened?” I asked.
“Last night, we went to Adam’s office barbecue and his boss’s twin boys brought firecrackers and set them alight next to the pool house. Well, the explosion, good grief, scared the hell out of everyone!
“I was about to call the cops to put those spoilt kids in some kind of juvenile home and send their parents to Siberia.”
Maggie was really upset over that.
Where we teach, at Hareth Ford Girls Grammar School, she is one of the senior teachers and looks after the girls marching group. The marching girls are very popular and, as they march, you can see Maggie Kilian doing her strut and shouting directions like she was born to it. She got awarded twice as a marching instructor.
Adam fell in love with her, as Maggie puts it, when he first saw her marching with the girls. After six months courtship, they got married at the Methodist church and I was maid of honour. Both of us got drunk at the reception afterwards and Adam was truly impressed. He still talks about it when the three of us are alone.
“I thought that teachers were sensible, but during my wedding reception I was proven wrong,” he says and laughs really hard.
, when he was laughing about our ‘wedding reception drinking thing’.
“I wondered if you thought I was a saint who was marching to eternity and would drag you along,” Maggie told him once, and then she winked at me. I gave her a hard look and didn’t smile.
So when Adam went to the toilet she said, ‘Goodness, Casse, men think that only they have good times to remember and clink glasses to. We go back a long way and stuff whoever has a problem with our drinking on my wedding day.”
“Maggie, he’s your husband now, don’t upset him,” I said kindly.
“For crying out loud, Casse, he better get use to my ranting or he won’t last.” Then we started laughing our heads off and when Adam returned he looked confused.
“Did I miss something?” and he looked at Maggie and then at me.
“Yes, honey, you did,” Maggie told him.
“What?” he asked perplexed.
“The man next to our table gave a loud thunderous fart,” then we all started holding our stomachs and laughing.
That’s another side of Maggie. She can be really funny when she wants to be. She has this sweet and sour kind of humour, especially if she is annoyed or can’t stand the conversation that’s floating around.
Maggie is unique.
Once she came to work looking distraught and tired.
“Geez, Casse, forget about getting married. It’s a whole load of hard work and men have so many needs and demands,” then she rolled her eyes and moved onto to her office, before I could say anything.
At lunchtime that day, I caught her in the staffroom and asked what she was on about.
She said abruptly, “Oh that? Later, when you get married we’ll talk about it. Now it would be a sin to tell you.” She looked at me seriously and we both cracked up at the same time and Mr Moatz, who was about to put his coffee to his lips, shook his cup and the hot liquid dribbled down the front of his brown pants. He cursed loudly.
“What the hell? Can you women mind the level of your laughter and stop squealing?”
“Our apologies, Mr Moatz, we are just excited that Casse is getting married,” Maggie just let her usual smart words roll out of her mouth.
“Really?” Mr Moatz said in a much softer voice.
“Yeah, really, that’s why we’re squealing like piglets,” Maggie stood up and pulled my hand.
“Will keep you posted, Mr Moatz, and update on the progress of her courtship, starting from as I speak,” Maggie said loudly.
It was then I looked over at Mr Moatz and saw he got the message that Maggie was being sarcastic.
“Maggie!” I exclaimed as we went through the door.
“Well, he acts like he owns the staff room, but he doesn’t. We can laugh as loud as we like, squeal as sexily as we can , fart as stinky as we want and say whatever we feel like saying,”. We both held our stomachs and laughed as we walked to her office.
“What if he asks me when the wedding is,” I asked.
“Well, you can tell him, I will still let you know or...,” Maggie stopped. “Tell him blankly, there is no wedding.”
“What if he doesn’t believe me.” I’d heard stories that Mr Moatz controlled half of the criminals in the city.
“Well then, tell him to take a hike or unfriend him,” Maggie laughed loudly.
‘Hey this is not Facebook!”
“Well, just tell him Maggie lied,” she said flatly. “He’s not our friend, relative or husband. Chill Casse.”
Then she rolled her eyes, put her hands on her hips and said, “Casse, are you going to see a doctor or not?”
“Maybe,” I said.
“Casse, don’t give me maybe. I am more than a friend. I care for you, even though I know that you’re such a twerp!”. She was angry.
“You drove Neil away because he suspected there was something deep bothering you and you didn’t want him to be part of it!” she yelled at me.
“Neil was a real sob. I did the right thing,’ I said with a laugh.
“No, he really liked you, I mean loved you, woman,”’ she said in a much kinder voice.
“Oh please, Maggie, don’t make me cry angry tears. I usually only cry once every year.
“I didn’t like him or love him. Good riddance.”
“He was a nice man, who was willing to give you his heart,” she sounded like my mother and I laughed loudly.
“What is funny, woman?!” Maggie did her eye-popping serious school teacher face.
“Mags, I don’t want his heart or any other man’s stomach,” I said.
We looked at each other and cracked up in loud, uncivilized laughter.
“Okay, Mrs Kilian, organise a doctor for me,” I got up and hugged her.
“I already have,” she said taking her handbag from the bench.
“What?”
“Tomorrow we go to Dr Harrison at nine.” Maggie walked away as I tried to work out how she had already found a good doctor to unreverse my reversed brain.