KEITH JACKSON
NOOSA - Patrick (Big Pat) Levo – erstwhile features editor and court jester of the PNG Post-Courier (and in retirement back home in Gulf Province a fish fancier as you can see) - has quite a way with words.
“Your most eminent loftiness, apologies,” he wrote to me recently, after a delay in correspondence of some years. “I was upriver where the mosquitoes ask you for your blood type.”
Some years six or seven years ago, with the Crocodile Prize national literary awards just getting off the ground, Big Pat proved to be Big Helper as he organised PNG’s first national newspaper to give Phil Fitzpatrick and me some greatly valued support.
After much emailing, we finally met up in Moresby towards the end of 2011. That’s when I discovered that Big Pat was not big in the porcine sense but in the manner of a palm tree (tho' the pic shows he's filled out a bit since).
Sometime after that I heard Big Pat had retired and – then a long silence, until…. a message from the swamps.
“Sincere most heartfelt apologies, my dear fellow ink wasters and failed tank drivers and amateur boroma [Motu = pig] farmers.
“I was moving my bags of buai from Two Mile Hill to my new villa atop Touaguba Alps. It’s a bit chilly up there, but the view is excellent, especially if you are raising hogs and frogs.”
Which is all fantasy, of course, because Big Pat never had the coin to join Port Moresby’s elite on their hilltops and I never saw him as a big betel nut man.
“I shall return some spark in a few days when my sorcerer advices me on how to avoid Powes, who lives in the adjacent block.” An allusion to Powes Parkop who governs Moresby and detests buai.
Anyway, I wrote back asking my friend what he had been doing these past few years.
“I keep the boromas HHH - happy, healthy and heavy,” Big Pat responded, “which is not a light chore so to speak.
“The swamps are full of hungry, angry pukpuks but I am safe sitting in my cave. If the fish could bite, I’d have a full time job.
“Chill out mate, don’t complain, just relax and enjoy the breeze, the scenery, the fresh air and the sun and surf. It’s all untaxed and free!”
Good advice, and Big Pat even had a tip for prime minister Peter O’Neill: “Have a beer mate!”