FROM OUR MAN AT THE BAR
THERE was police-enforced singing and dancing in every town and village across Papua New Guinea tonight as word spread quickly that a much loved leader had set up a new anti-corruption body after the first anti-corruption body had accused him of corruption.
“It is only a temporary anti-corruption body because we don’t know how long we will want it for,” a spokespuppet for Mr O’Neill said.
“Probably until it does its job, which we’re hoping it won’t,” he added.
A senior bureaucrat close to a bank account provided more details to our reporter.
“Task Force Bleep is headed by a retired Australian judge who we don’t think has heard of what happened to the last bloke.”
Another spokesbubble said that the earlier body known as Taskforce Sweep “was politically compromised.”
“I think that means that the politicians compromised it,” he confided.
A third spokesquirt, struggling to get into the newspapers, said the replacement organisation is “squeaky clean, totally independent and answerable only to God.”
God was not immediately available for comment.
Insiders claim it will be known as the Interim Office for Anti-Corruption, or IntoRupt.
The chairman designate is from the former British colony of New South Wales, Australia, and who – if a visa can be arranged in time – will travel to the tropics under the name of Retired Justice Graham Ellis.
Mr O'Neill was served with an arrest warrant about two weeks ago and his application for a stay of proceedings is presently enjoying the third of what could be several dozen adjournments until nobody remembers what happened in the first place.